Rising From the Ashes - the Mutts and Stories Rally

 The organized rally will not be happening this year.  So who needs an organized rally?  I invested a lot in this year's event.  Why not do it anyway?  On my own?  Thus, I am formally announcing Mutt Ron's One-Man Mutts and Stories Cross Country Rally! 

So here's the deal - I will depart California on July 5th and head north.  Then east.  Then....well, I'm not real sure.  All I know is that I have to be in Pittsburgh by the 13th, then on to Gettysburg to meet up with my fellow Road Glide riders in roadglide.org's first nationally rally.  After a four-day weekend it's back into marathon rally mode, as I head back home.  If all goes well, I'll be home three weeks after I left.  Come out and say hi as I rumble by your town!

Guts and Glory Ride Gets Derailed

I received a phone call from the organizer of the rally, and I could tell from the sound of the ring tone that I was not going to be receiving good news.  Indeed, I was informed that due to pending litigation from a “competing” event, this year’s rally has had to be postponed….for a year. 

I won’t get into the specifics – I don’t know them all, but I will note that the filing was perfectly timed to disrupt as many plans, organizers, and participants as possible.  Here we are less than a month away, almost all of the logistics have been set, and poof!  No cross country adventure.  It’s very disheartening for the organizers, for the charities that were to benefit from this event, and for the participants.  OK, what to do now?  Got to get on the bike and go somewhere.  I can’t let Sigourney down.  We’ve come too far to just drop all thoughts of a trip.  I’ve got a heated jacket liner, and I aim to use it.  And sunglasses.  And duct tape.  Dammit, I’m going somewhere!

Shopping Spree

A Personal Mission to Stimulate the Economy

This trip has somehow created a sudden urge to spend untold amounts of money.  For some reason, I must have a new….well, everything.  Some of the new purchases one can justify - modern GPS unit, heated vest, new memory card (with vastly more megabytes), for instance. 

Then there are the things that should probably be regarded as "nice to have," but to me they are just flat necessary.  New gloves, new camera – the gloves and camera I had were perfectly good.  But they must be replaced, for they have been deemed unworthy.  They are old.  New sunglasses - gotta have 'em (even though my collection of sunglasses numbers in the dozens).  Not just one pair, though.  For some reason three pairs became necessary.  I’m throwing money around like a drunken Democrat.  New rainsuit.  The old one works just fine.  It fits well, folds up nicely, and most importantly keeps me dry.  But that's not good enough.  Because it’s not new.  Evidently I have an aversion to anything that is not new.  Or cheap.  Within 30 days the rally will be under way, and the allocated trip funds are dwindling rapidly.  I can’t stop spending.  I just bought new duct tape. 

I need help.  I may have to stage my own intervention before I deplete my life savings.  Well, at least the gas will be affordable…..wait….what?!?

A Passenger Joins the Trip

I’ve decided to take a passenger along with me on my crazy trip.  My passenger is a she.  “She” is joining us guys - us guys being Herm and me.  Herm is my bike.  Why my bike is a male, and why his name is Herm, is not quite clear to me, and I don’t care to spend a lot of time speculating on it.  That’s just the way it is.  The fact is that two guys cannot go 9000 miles in two weeks without a little female companionship.  So I’m taking along my new friend, Sigourney.  

 

Sigourney, as you can see, is a shark.   Why a shark?  I’m not quite sure.  Maybe because the Road Glide’s fairing somewhat resembles a shark’s nose.  Members on the roadglide.org internet forum have even been known to refer to themselves as the Shark Nose Society - a secret one, in fact.  But really, I just think sharks are cool. 

So why Sigourney?  I actually spent a great deal of time trying to come up with an appropriate name.  Names are hard. I figured that a shark’s name should have a shhh sound.  Seems natural enough, right?  Let’s see, there’s Cheryl, Shannon, Charmaine. Ugh, none of those seemed right.  Great name for a girlfriend/wife/sister, but not for a shark.  So it was off to the baby name directory where I decided that my passenger’s name should have some meaning behind it.  I considered Scirocco, which means “warm wind,”  hopefully what I will feel along the way.  But that went out the door because I once had a roommate who had a VW Scirocco car, and that was one awful piece of crap.  Bad karma in so many ways.  I liked Sasha, “one who defends.”  But defense is not really what I need (I hope).  Shamira seemed like a good name, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a stripper name.  And I don’t have room or a need for a stripper pole.  (Apologies to anyone named Shamira who might be reading this).  Then I came across Sigourney.  Sigourney is cool. Sharks are cool. And Sigourney rhymes with journey, and that’s cool.  An internet search revealed that Sigourney means “Conqueror.”  Perfect.  I should be riding with a conqueror.  This is a competition after all.  I thus christen my new passenger Sigourney. 

I suppose this all seems a little like Tom Hanks in Cast Away, who named his volleyball “Wilson,” and made an imaginary companion out of him.  But that’s what kept him sane, right?  Will Sigourney keep me sane?  I think it’s too late for that.  But hopefully she will give me some guidance and provide a little companionship.  But one suggestion from her that I ask for directions, and…well, let’s just hope that never happens.