Hot Time in the Plains

Day 16
States: 45
Miles 9226

This was easily my toughest day of the adventure.  Triple digit temperatures, horrible roads, and the least scenic segment yet.  But, oh, it was not boring in the least.  Let me share more of my wacky experiences with you.

The early part of Day 16 took me through the northeastern section of Texas, a place that was sort of an accidental access point.  I ended up with 50 or 60 miles worth of the Lone Star State to run through on my way to Oklahoma.  Texas and Texans have always fascinated me - I don't know why.  Maybe it's their rugged independence or their fierce state pride.  They are a hearty bunch, that's for sure.  But for all of their qualities, they are not terribly original with their city names.  Today, for instance, I rode through, in succession, Detroit, Reno, and Paris.  Each was distinctly unlike the Detroit, Reno, and Paris that you and I are probably more familiar with.  Then I wondered if they even knew about those other cities.  Heck, maybe they thought those names weren't even taken when they tagged these towns. 

Getting through Texas was relatively uneventful, certainly compared to Day 15.  It was hot out, but when moving, it actually felt pretty comfortable.  For a while.  My goal was to get through Oklahoma and Kansas, then turn into Colorado.  This would leave me with only two states to conquer, New Mexico and Arizona.  I was planning to turn the Roadglide.org flag over to one of the biggest contributors to the success of the forum, Chainsaw.  He was the one who had championed the idea of having a national Road Glide rally.  Unfortunately he had been unable to attend.  He was also instrumental in raising funding for the creation of the flag.  I felt it was only appropriate that he get the flag next.  And his location, Southwestern Kansas, was right on my intended course.  I had contacted him a couple of nights before to arrange the flag handover, so he was expecting me in the afternoon or evening. 

Traveling through Oklahoma, the highway was decidedly less densely packed than most other roads that I and my entourage had traveled.  Happily cruising along, humming Muskrat Love to myself, I came upon a sight that I couldn't believe.  Let me preface and explain to those who don't ride what frightens motorcyclists the most.  Ladders that have fallen in the roadway are a big concern.  You don't often go around a ladder and you definitely don't ride over a ladder.  Mattresses are also a concern.  You don't often have the luxury of riding around one, and riding over a mattress is like taking the runaway truck ramp, but without the consolation of being off the highway.  And both mattresses and ladders tend to be the objects that car and truck owners seem least likely to tie down successfully.  The object of my concern was an unbelievable confluence of these two hazards - a minivan carry a mattress, on top of which was a ladder.  Of course both were threatening to break free at any moment.  

The motorcycle gods seemed to be conspiring against me.  It was if a black cat had crossed my path while I broke a mirror under a ladder………on Friday the 13th.  I had to take a picture, but he was traveling at a much slower rate than I, so I pulled over to the shoulder, readied the camera and let him pass.  Jumping back onto the highway I approached from the left lane and took a few shots.  I succeeded in getting only one of him, but several quality shots of my thigh.  However, that one was good enough.

I must have spooked him, because just as I completed my photo assignment, he abruptly slowed and pulled to the side.  He was no doubt unhappy that I was still upright on my motorcycle.  With that episode complete I went back to Muskrat Love in search of my next sighting. 

I decided to stop just outside of Oklahoma City to have lunch.  Awaiting me was a text message from Chainsaw in which he invited me not only to come to the house for a steak dinner cooked on the grill, but also for overnight accommodations.  How could I say no to that?  After lunch, I set off for Chainsaw's location.  The temperature had risen somewhat.  Actually, quite a bit.  I had remembered to cover the seat to avoid getting the old red ass again, but somehow things seemed hotter.  That's because things were hotter - much hotter.  The wind came up, and it just made things worse, because it was a hot wind.  I forged on.  I finally found a gas station where I could get a drink, but not before passing through the "center" of town.  These towns are pretty small, and you're lucky to see any commerce at all.  But in this particular town was a bank that had one of those displays that shows the time and temperature.  I tried not to look. I knew it was hot, but I didn't really want to know how hot.  That would only make it feel hotter.  But like the highway accident that you can't turn away from, I found myself zeroed in on the display.  Too late - I couldn't look away, and I caught it.  108 degrees.  Really?  It couldn't possibly be that hot.  I made sure to get enough hydration, because I knew the next opportunity would be far down the road. 

Rolling through Western Oklahoma was for all intents and purposes unbearable.  The terrain was as boring as C-SPAN and the roads were rough and broken.  There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the sun shone in my eyes like a high intensity interrogation light.  

I kept thinking that an old monocled German man in a trench coat was ready to stick a cigarette in my eye if I didn't confess.  Mirages appeared on the horizon.  My water supply was gone, and I was in search of a source of cold liquid.  Signs that appeared to be gas station logos from a distance turned out to be water towers.  Worst of all was following endless convoys of cattle trucks, loaded of course with cattle.  Not only did it smell like I was following a 80 mph moving barn, but the buffeting wind coming off of the trailers, especially those with cabs that had the wind spoilers, sent the bike into wobbles and shimmies that threatened all control of Herm.  And let's not even get into the possibility of what comes out of cows and where it goes.  To those who don't ride, to get a sensation of what it's like following one of these trucks, imagine hanging onto a rope that's tied to the tail of an F-18 - in flight.  There ya go.  It seemed endless.  For the first time on the trip I couldn't wait for the ride to be over.  The countdown from 80 mile to 70 miles to 60 miles seemed to take forever.  Finally I came upon an oasis, a gas station that offered the most refreshing, cold, delicious drink I had ever had.  It tasted like cattle truck.  I didn't care.  I was refreshed. 

I set off for the north, and before I could get one more refrain of Muskrat Love out, I came upon Liberal, Kansas.  That was where I was to meet Chainsaw.  I cruised down Pancake Avenue (really, that's its name), pulled into a station, drank another half gallon of liquid and called Chainsaw.  He knew where I was and in no time came roaring up on the Dragon Slayer, his totally awesome blacked out Road Glide that I had only seen photos of previously.  It was beautiful.  As I looked at the Dragon Slayer sitting next to my grimy, road-worn Herm I was humbled.  We shook hands and set off for his place - another 30 minutes away.  We arrived at his house, and I was blessedly able to pull Herm into his garage.  I was introduced to Chainsaw's wife and their very cool kitty-cat, Lily, and I was summarily presented with a delicious steak dinner.  We passed the night away trading travel stories, and we had a semi-official handover of the flag. 

It had been a great honor to carry the flag and I was happy that I was able to turn it over to one of the more deserving recipients.  The graciousness of Chainsaw and his wife to take in a total stranger, feed and house him, just goes to show that Harley folks, and especially Road Glide riders are simply the coolest people on earth. 

Unusual things seen on the road today:

• A female corrections officer purchasing a six-pack of beer
• An army surplus store featuring a jet fighter
• Air Force One

Unusual city names seen on signs today:

• Gay Bluff
• Antlers
• Beaver
• Hooker

*It is believed that the last two are sister cities